When we first met, when we fell in love, we saw each other for who we really were and what we could be together. I think that’s why things got as serious as fast as they did. We saw what was truly there.

But also, from the beginning, a lot of other stuff happened, too. And soon we couldn’t keep up. We didn’t know how to approach it or even communicate with each other about how it was making us feel. We didn’t know each other nearly well enough to do that. And we didn’t have the tools needed to fix it, tools that are acquired over time and experience.

And eventually, bad patterns formed. And they, with other things, began to overshadow the good- the potential. Instead of that, it was defense tactics and arguments; fear and uncertainty. We could’t keep up. We hand’t yet developed a system fast enough to approach conflict together, instead of against each other. We didn’t yet know what the other needed most in those moments.

I still remember the potential. I still remember how good it could feel, how sure I was in us. How perfect the balance could be. How imperfectly perfect we fit together.

I want that back. I want all of it back. I want to do it better and stronger and in the process create an even more amazing bond.

I can’t let myself give up on us.